BEFORE DESSERT IS SERVED, I HAVE JUST TWO BRIEF ANNOUNCEMENTS.
DON’T LOOK SO TROUBLED, WEASLEY, I’LL BE BRIEF. YOU’LL GET YOUR PUDDING. IT’S A RATHER SPECIAL ONE THIS EVENING, I THINK. WHEN I PASSED BY THE KITCHEN I COULD HEAR THE RASPBERRIES SCREAMING.
OH, THIS ALL CAPS BUSINESS IS SILLY.
You can all hear me, yes? Good.
I am sure that by now you are all aware of the impending arrival of the special rehearsal edition script of the original West End muggle production of the play based on the recent life experiences and adventures of Gryffindor alumnus Harry Potter, his family, and some of their acquaintances.
This coming Saturday, July 30th at 9pm, a local muggle bookstore will be preparing a special Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Midnight Release Party. By all accounts it will be an especially delightful occasion, with contests, costumes, and concoctions. I’m sure it will resound with all the quaint and clumsy charm that our muggle neighbors exude whenever they pretend at being little, or big, wizards and witches. Not even the most powerful Repello Muggletum spell could keep them away from this party!
Would whoever is responsible for them kindly remove the slugs from the tapestries.
You’ve missed one.
One last thing before I cede the floor to the pudding. The day before the Harry Potter extravaganza will see a celebration of another Muggle favorite - less magical, but no less mysterious. The Where’s Waldo? Party, held this Friday, July 29th at 2pm will also be a costume affair, and will feature a real life Waldo sneaking about through the aisles of the bookstore. Hogwarts students who wish to attend the Where’s Waldo? Party may do so if they wish, but no wands allowed! It wouldn’t be fair to the muggles if we just Accio Waldo!
Oops! Of course I’ve summoned him, haven’t I?
NO, Professor Palahniuk! Release Waldo this instant!
This is not how we treat a guest at Hogwarts!
Thanks for reading,
currently reading Pond by Claire-Louise Bennett.
currently listening to the whatever one listens to when you’re on the edge of the Grand Canyon.